Happy 29th Birthday

Today is my honeys birthday. I can't tell you enough how amazing this man is and how I'm over the moon in love with him.
He is the best husband I could ever have asked God for. He fulfills my very dreams and hopes. His faith and love for God makes it even all the much better.
I love you papito with all my heart!! Happy Happy Birthday and may God give you many many more years to spend with me!! :o))

Our surprise!!

So its official after multiple pregnancy test, doctors office and a very sick me we are pregnant and could not be happier. It has been a rough,and now that we think about it, a short road.

So this is how it happened....

On July 14 I had my yearly ob visit everything went great according to the doctor. I told her that we were trying to have a baby and had been trying since early March and nothing yet. She did not seem even a litte worried. She said it takes about 6-12 months for a normal couple and after a year we would explore a little more if i was not pregnant yet.  I left the office with a little pit in my belly... That was not the answer i wanted to hear 6 months!!! WOW but oh well we had God and he was going to do it at his time.

The  next day I had my physical with my general doctor and I told him about my horrible hurt burn and even worse headaches. He did some test and everything was coming out great! YAY!

By July 16 I was cramping really bad but no period. I was 6 days late, not so normal but not out of the ordinary lately.  So that morning I decided to take a HPT. I had bought one at the dollar store a few weeks before and I had a pack of EPT but I was not a fan of getting a negative on a $15 test.
So it came out like this....

You can't  see the second line.. but its there!

If you look close enough, with one eye or half of that eye you can see a very, very light pink line.

I decided to wait and not tell anyone, not even the hubster and just wait until the next morning!
 The following morning I took my EPT test. The last one in the box and to my surprise the second line appear even clearer now!! I was jumping up and down in our guest bathroom at 5:45 in the morning!

Now thats better!

I went to my mom to work, we had some issues at the house that were being resolved so the kids were meeting me there. As soon as I got there i told my mom I NEEDED to go to the pharmacy.
At 9am I took the 3rd test and this time the line came up faster and brighter!!! I came out of the bathroom with the biggest smile! So much that my mom took a look at me and told me "OH MY GOSH you are pregnant right!? Right!!!"
We jumped a little and after many hugs we got back to doing our work.

 By 12 i couldnt hold it in anymore!! I went to the store while our helper and my mom stayed with the kidos and got my husband a onesie, some baby leggings, a soccer aplique, fabric paint and a t-shirt for him.

That day  he had come home early due to a little accident he had the night before, lets just say stitches, bloodly hands and butterfly stiches where involved.

So at 3Pm I went home and gave him this box with everything else in it.
His reaction was and it still is priceless. He kept saying "are you serious?" Really we are going to have a baby?!" I will post the video of it at a later time!!

But for now this is our story with baby E!! So now we can officially say Baby E makes 3!!

The biggest blessing

Every once in a while I'm left astonished as to how amazing God is.
Not to long ago I wrote about how hard it's been on me the whole we are not pregnant thing and how much I wanted to be.
Little did we know that God was planting that seed, He was getting everything ready for that special day.
Funny how sometimes we need to express our feelings and before we know it God had something bigger planed.
Were is this all leading to......

Im happy to report that we the Estradas are awaiting our first little baby!! 

Baby E will be coming in March

If I'm honest!

I have gone on and on about posting this, about opening up and talking about my feelings and I have honestly felt ashamed to talk about this openly on the web, but it goes against every reason I had when I decided to write about our family. When we decided that one day we would like for our kids to look back at our life before them and hopefully if this continues, with them too. It goes against the fact that I want to shelter my kids from all the bad things in the world, from bad news and many times from the hash reality of life in this world.

But then again what kind of kids will we be raising if we cover them from the hard reality that this world brings.

I heard on the radio a while ago a statement that shook me but a statement that we so often want to ignore. "Just like us our kids will make mistakes and they'll learn from them. Raising christian kids is knowing the battle and fight they'll have to overcome just like we did at a time but that is, that right there is what will make them strong followers of Christ" 

So I have and will take the time whenever possible to talk about the now. My now which to me is pretty but not at all how I want it to be just my reality.

Want being the key word there, as I mention in my last post, I tend to be a little selfish.

If you asked my right now what I want in all honesty I would have a long long list, but one thing that is way up in my list is a baby.

 Lately everybody is pregnant.. Friends, blogger, husband co-workers. Everybody is pregnant. 

It sounds so bad, just reading it makes me weak in my stomach. I sound horrible. Believe me, I'm happy for everyone who is expecting and I'm the first one to share the happiness, to ask how they are doing, I listen to everything they have to say and every hurt they have and I always finish with "aww that's great, I'm so happy for you, May God bless him/her" but I'm left being selfish. I'm left with questions and honestly with a knot in my throat as to why not me....

As as soon as that goes through my mind my Father tells me "its My time not yours"...... 

With all my heart I trust that. I believe it and try to understand that He has a perfect time for me but it doesn't stop it from being hard. it doesn't stop my tears, my stress, and it definitely doesn't take the knot in my throat away. 

It hard to be a Christian. Is hard to always know the truth but not always understand it, but I couldn't imagine my life being it different. I couldn't imagine my life with out Him. 

I choose to trust Him! Whether it be hard, easy or in the middle I know he will untie every

 knot, He will fulfill my desires.

I'm not saying its all a happy ending, that I'm going to magically stop feeling the way I do simply that it'll be okay!

And that enough of my pitty party. Hope everyone has a great and blessed weekend!

He is able

As I have mention here before we are trying to have a baby.

Is something that came with many conversation, many decision and many pauses.
In all honesty baby was a conversation that over the past 5 years we have had many times.
We talked about the name but we wanted to have this baby at our perfect time. We wanted to choose the date the baby would be born and when I was going to be pregnant.

After postponing it for a couple of months even years now that we have finally decided it that it was the right time here we stand about 3 months later and sadly no baby.

I've never imagined that it was going to be hard. I never imagined that it was going to take long at all. I expected it to be easy to be done in a month.

In all my sadness I found myself telling my husband "How can this be?" How can I be a month late and have a negative pregnancy test. A week later while laying in bed with my husband I got my period.
 At that moment I didn't know what to think..

My heart broke... My eyes filled with tears and everything I had hope for and every article that I had read came to mind. I felt dumb. I felt like I had tricked my own body to think that I was pregnant and the test were not registering it.

As I went back to bed I couldn't help but cry as I told my husband. His natural reaction through all of this process has been simply amazing. He encourages me and has been very supportive. I honestly cannot complain. This time around he did exactly what I needed. No questions asked he hugged me and promised that God had a bigger plan.

Is hard to imagine that it could ever  be this difficult, that it could ever take this long but according to statistics it really can take from 6 months to a year and we are not even close to either or.

We have kept trying and doing our homework is not hard at all.... but it is hard to see month after month. But then something hits me..the idea that I'm being too selfish, that I'm thinking this is rough, hard and find myself questioning what God has planned for my life when there are people out there going through rougher patches than we are.
When there are people that are suffering from loss, infertility and they have been at it for years and still have the faith to lift up their heads and continue on.

And today just today I read something that has changed the way I look at all of this.

  God is ABLE and He will do it when He thinks is right for our little family. Whenever the time maybe we will be ready for it.
With all my heart I believe that HE is able to do it, He is able to exceed all of my expectations.

HE IS ABLE!!

Weakness

In my weakness your power is made perfect. So I choose to be weak so there, in my deepest, weakest moment your power is made perfect making me stronger.

Our now..

Living today like it was your last day.. I feel like we hear that every day, from everyone but somehow we still don't do it.
We live our life regretting our choices from the past and /or not enjoying the present enough because we are worrying about tomorrow.

The bible says in Mathew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When this year began I have to be honest I had , have, high hopes for it. For what it meant in our life as a family, as business owners and in the spiritual sense. I wanted to do it all. Become amazing at every single thing in my list of goals.
Well it took less than a week for me to realize that I had to take it slow. That I had to enjoy the moments as the were happening and not worry so much about them being perfect.

If you know me you know I'm a total worry wart.. Not about them happening or not, I put my trust in God, but about them happening as I had planned, including every detail.

So I worry if step B will happen before step A even though I shouldn't, I know God has the perfect timing for them but the type A person that I am does worry....

Knowing all that I know will I, or we as a matter of fact, stop planning?
NEVER and I say that with certainty, but I have learned to love our now...

Just the two of us.. No kids, no pets and only putting our eyes on God.