He is able

As I have mention here before we are trying to have a baby.

Is something that came with many conversation, many decision and many pauses.
In all honesty baby was a conversation that over the past 5 years we have had many times.
We talked about the name but we wanted to have this baby at our perfect time. We wanted to choose the date the baby would be born and when I was going to be pregnant.

After postponing it for a couple of months even years now that we have finally decided it that it was the right time here we stand about 3 months later and sadly no baby.

I've never imagined that it was going to be hard. I never imagined that it was going to take long at all. I expected it to be easy to be done in a month.

In all my sadness I found myself telling my husband "How can this be?" How can I be a month late and have a negative pregnancy test. A week later while laying in bed with my husband I got my period.
 At that moment I didn't know what to think..

My heart broke... My eyes filled with tears and everything I had hope for and every article that I had read came to mind. I felt dumb. I felt like I had tricked my own body to think that I was pregnant and the test were not registering it.

As I went back to bed I couldn't help but cry as I told my husband. His natural reaction through all of this process has been simply amazing. He encourages me and has been very supportive. I honestly cannot complain. This time around he did exactly what I needed. No questions asked he hugged me and promised that God had a bigger plan.

Is hard to imagine that it could ever  be this difficult, that it could ever take this long but according to statistics it really can take from 6 months to a year and we are not even close to either or.

We have kept trying and doing our homework is not hard at all.... but it is hard to see month after month. But then something hits me..the idea that I'm being too selfish, that I'm thinking this is rough, hard and find myself questioning what God has planned for my life when there are people out there going through rougher patches than we are.
When there are people that are suffering from loss, infertility and they have been at it for years and still have the faith to lift up their heads and continue on.

And today just today I read something that has changed the way I look at all of this.

  God is ABLE and He will do it when He thinks is right for our little family. Whenever the time maybe we will be ready for it.
With all my heart I believe that HE is able to do it, He is able to exceed all of my expectations.

HE IS ABLE!!

Weakness

In my weakness your power is made perfect. So I choose to be weak so there, in my deepest, weakest moment your power is made perfect making me stronger.

Our now..

Living today like it was your last day.. I feel like we hear that every day, from everyone but somehow we still don't do it.
We live our life regretting our choices from the past and /or not enjoying the present enough because we are worrying about tomorrow.

The bible says in Mathew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When this year began I have to be honest I had , have, high hopes for it. For what it meant in our life as a family, as business owners and in the spiritual sense. I wanted to do it all. Become amazing at every single thing in my list of goals.
Well it took less than a week for me to realize that I had to take it slow. That I had to enjoy the moments as the were happening and not worry so much about them being perfect.

If you know me you know I'm a total worry wart.. Not about them happening or not, I put my trust in God, but about them happening as I had planned, including every detail.

So I worry if step B will happen before step A even though I shouldn't, I know God has the perfect timing for them but the type A person that I am does worry....

Knowing all that I know will I, or we as a matter of fact, stop planning?
NEVER and I say that with certainty, but I have learned to love our now...

Just the two of us.. No kids, no pets and only putting our eyes on God.